What Dads Need to Know About Having a Baby Girl

If you’re expecting a baby girl—or already have a newborn daughter—you might find it hard to imagine what their future life will look like, let alone the role you’ll play in it. After all, you’re probably still trying to grasp basic infant care, including diaper changes, dressing, and bathing, especially if this is your first baby.

But dads play a key role in preparing their daughters for success, and it all starts on day one. Whether it’s through cuddles, support, homework help, or even dating advice, a dad can set the tone for his daughter’s ability to get through life. Here are some ways you can give your baby girl a leg up right from the start.

Importance of the Father-Daughter Bond

Never underestimate the positive influence that your father-daughter bond will have on overall well-being and decision-making skills. Studies show that a strong relationship helps a girl develop healthy levels of self-esteem, empowerment, psychological well-being, and feminist values. Even competency in math and science can be influenced by a dad’s connection with their child.

What’s more, girls who’ve enjoyed good relationships with their fathers are less likely to engage in early sexual behavior or to use alcohol and illegal drugs when they’re young.

Dads benefit as much from the relationship as their girls do. Indeed, many men admit that having a daughter changed the way they behave—for the better. Once Los Angeles firefighter John Jimenez had a daughter, he discovered the importance of the messages he gives. “Now I’m more conscious of what I say and how I behave.”

Seattle dad Richard Rhodes also believes that having daughters (in his case, five) has changed his perspective and behavior. “I cringe now when I hear sexist jokes. I [also] can’t watch movies that show women in vulnerable situations.”

Tips for Raising a Baby Girl

So, what’s the right way to parent a baby girl? Your way. You can bond with your daughter immediately by taking a hands-on role in infant care. As your child grows, your interactions will obviously change, but you can have a positive impact by being there and adapting to her needs. Here are some basic tips for parenting a baby girl.

1. Change Diapers

From the start, try to be active with baby care. This means learning to change diapers, especially because in those first few months, your child will dirty as many as eight to 12 diapers per day! With baby girls, it’s also important to wipe from front to back and ensure you’re getting her clean—even in all the nooks and crannies.

2. Get Involved with Child Care

If possible, get involved in your child’s day-to-day routine, too. Bathe your daughter and help with bedtime. And, if she happens to get sick, provide a source of comfort. Too often, fathers of baby girls feel as if they’re in alien territory and retreat, deferring to the mother. But the truth is, although what they provide may be different, they have as much to offer as the mother does.

3. Give Cuddles

When your little girl is born, she’ll likely be placed on Mom’s chest for skin-to-skin contact. But research shows this “kangaroo care” with Dad is important, too. Not only does it foster a close bond from the start, but it also establishes that you’re a source of comfort too. Take time to hold your little girl every day—both when she’s alert and when she’s fussy. Try rocking, singing, walking, and reading—all of which strengthen your bond with one another.

4. Play with Your Daughter

It’s a well-known fact that moms and dads tend to have different styles of play. Research shows that dads tend to be more physical with their kids. They’re more likely to engage in “rough-and-tumble play” and be less predictable—all of which are important developmental experiences for little girls that can encourage self-regulation and even boost working memory. So don’t be afraid to play with your little girl in a way that feels natural for you. Just be willing to do silly things with her, too. If she wants to reenact her favorite Disney movie or fix your hair, say yes.

5. Be Present When Spending Time Together

Make it a point to be present for your little girl—even if you work outside of the home or travel a lot. When you’re with your daughter, put the computer away and engage with her, even if it’s just for a few minutes. It can be as simple as holding her or reading a book when she’s an infant, or talking about her day when she’s in preschool. The key is to make time to be fully present.

6. Embrace Who She Is

As your daughter grows and develops, her personality will emerge, and you can boost her sense of self by embracing who she is. Acknowledge her interests, how she sees herself, and what she likes and dislikes. This means being accepting if she wants to play with toys that are not so-called “girls’ toys.” It also means not making gender comparisons or forcing certain attributes on her, but instead allowing her to become the truest version of herself.

How to Be the Dad She Needs

Rest assured that there’s no right or wrong way to build a healthy bond with your daughter. The important thing is that you do it. Here are some ways you can be the father your little girl needs throughout childhood.

1. Be a Good Role Model

The qualities you embody—and how you treat your partner—will influence your daughter’s future relationships with her love interests. “You may be her only example that not all men are pigs,” jokes Yoaz Bar-Sever, father of 11-year-old Gaila who lives in Altadena, California.

2. Discuss Hard Topics

Come to an agreement with your partner about tough topics like sex, extreme dress, drugs, and risk-taking, and prepare to talk with your daughter when these issues come up. The goal is to help her learn to make good decisions and say no when she needs to. You also want her to feel comfortable coming to you with challenging questions about everything, from the way someone treats her to disagreements on hot-button issues.

3. Create Connections

Take an interest in what she enjoys and share your interests, too. If she likes doing puzzles, sit down and do one with her. Or, if she’s really into soccer, kick a ball around the yard together. Likewise, share your interests with her, too, whether you enjoy fishing, football, Comic-Con conferences, or a really great opera. While there’s no guarantee she’ll love it as much as you do, she will always remember you helping her put a worm on a hook, taking her to her first football game, dressing up for a Comic-Con convention, or attending the opera.

4. Listen to Your Daughter

No matter what your daughter has to say, truly listen to her. Give her your full attention, make eye contact, and ask questions. In the end, she’ll feel more supported and understood. Conversely, if she’s ignored or brushed off, she can feel misunderstood, undervalued, and left to figure things out on her own.

5. Impart Your Experience and Insight

You have lots of insight and real-life experience to impart to your daughter, so take advantage of that. For example, work together around the house or in the yard; even little ones can help rake leaves or pick up sticks! Also, teach her how to make and fix things. Once she’s driving, teach her basic car care, like how to wash the car, check the oil, and make sure the tires have enough air. You can even teach her about the computer or how to set up different electronics in the home. She’ll appreciate the knowledge you share with her!

6. Encourage Risk-Taking

Whether it’s going down the slide or auditioning for the play, you should encourage your daughter to try things that are scary for her (within reason, of course). Not only will this help build her confidence, but it will give her the courage to try new things or take healthy risks as an adult—like going for that new job or asking for the promotion she deserves.

7. Compliment Your Daughter

Pay attention to your daughter’s thoughts, feelings, and dreams. Acknowledge her kindness, empathy, and generosity and celebrate her accomplishments in school, sports, music, theatre, work—or wherever she excels. And because her appearance is one aspect of her whole person, don’t be afraid to tell her she looks nice occasionally. The goal is to let her know that she’s enough just the way she is.

8. Have Her Back, No Matter What

Every little girl, and big ones for that matter, needs to know she has someone in her corner, even when she makes mistakes or things don’t go her way. Defending your daughter, protecting her, and standing up for her when needed can give her a sense of security and comfort. Be that person for her and let her know you’re always there for her.

9. Be Yourself

Your daughter wants the real version of you, not the one you think she needs. Be authentic with her about your shortcomings and apologize when needed, but be true to who you are, too.

Conclusion

Having a baby girl is a beautiful journey filled with unique challenges and rewards. By actively participating in her life and nurturing your bond, you can help shape her future in profound ways. Remember, the love and support you provide will not only influence her self-esteem and decision-making but will also enrich your own life as a father. Embrace the adventure of fatherhood and cherish every moment with your little girl!